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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223556">My Alexander</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkAndFire/pseuds/InkAndFire'>InkAndFire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Miranda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(sorry about all the tags), Complicated Relationships, Don't worry, Everyone lives, Hamburr is kinda growing on me, Hamilton lived but Burr still regrets, I Tried, I didn't ship it but now I don't know, I'll stop writing Tags now, M/M, Mild Language, Past Aaron-Hamilton duel, Thomas shoots Alexander, fluff and angst i guess, i wrote half of this at 1AM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:33:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,326</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkAndFire/pseuds/InkAndFire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When loyalties are questioned, people learn whose side you're really on, and whose side you'll never leave.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Alexander</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone! As you may have seen from the tags, I wrote the beginning half of this at 1 AM, not shipping Hamburr, and with no clue where this was headed. However, it's growing on me, and I actually am kinda proud of my work for once. </p><p>As always con-crit is welcome, and I love to hear your feedback! So, enjoy this little fic that has been sprinkled with angst.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The crack of a gunshot. The cry of pain. Aaron rushed to Alexander's side, snow crunching beneath him. Memories coursed through him, each more clear and painful than the last.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>                    </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>
    <em>"Wait!"</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>"Why...? I thought...we were friends? Something more...?"</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div><p>
    <em>"I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry! God, what have I done?!</em>
  </p><p> </p>
<hr/></div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Back in reality, Alexandery lay on the ground, blood soaking his side just as before. Seemingly, the only differences were the bloodstained snow, rather than the grass that lay beneath it, and there was no gun next to him, having fallen from his hand. The only gun involved now was still in the hands of its owner. Thomas Jefferson. Aaron stood and spun to face Thomas.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What the hell was that for?!" Thomas smirked and tossed his gun to the side.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He partnered with you. He manipulated you. And yet, you're still on his side?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You shot him to get me back on your side?! You know of my mistakes, Thomas. Why did you think that would work?!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If I could finish what you started, maybe you'd realize-" Aaron stopped listening right there. He turned back to Alexander, keeling again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're going to be alright, Alexander. Look at me, angel. Just look at me. You'll be okay..." Finding the spot where the blood was darkest, he took off his cloak and pressed it to the younger man's side, causing him to yell in pain again. "I know, I know, love..." Aaron muttered, still trying to stave off the memories continuing to threaten to claim his mind. Gently, he lifted Alexander off the ground, his cloak still pressed firmly to Alex's side. Thomas stopped talking about whatever loyalty he was still talking about and fell silent.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't <em>ever</em> speak to me again, Thomas," Aaron said, his voice deadly. "E<em>specially</em> about loyalty. If you knew loyalty, you'd know I was never on <em>your side</em>." He spat the last few words with such venom that Thomas stepped backwards as though physically hit. Aaron turned on his heel and walked away, trying to keep a cool head, but desperate to get Alexander inside, somewhere he'd have a chance...</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <hr/>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Aaron slammed his front door and rushed upstairs to his room. His house was probably not the best idea, but it was close, and Alexander needed close. After laying the now unconscious Alexander on his bed, Aaron slowly removed his cloak, tossing it on the wooden floor. He could clean later. Then, he carefully tore open Alexander's shirt to see the wound more clearly, and swore. The bullet had only grazed his side, though quite deeply. It was as though there was a chunk of flesh simply scooped away. Aaron fought tears again, knowing that as bad as this looked, he had inflicted worse. Deciding he should clean the wound while Alexander was unconscious to avoid adding more pain when Alex was awake, he headed to find some alcohol to sterilize it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Thankful that the bleeding had stopped, he blotted the wound with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol, praying every time it touched Alexander's skin that he wouldn't wake up in more pain than before. Yet, by the time he had finished, his boyfriend still had not woken and Aaron was extremely worried. Deciding there was nothing more he could do, he pulled the chair from his desk towards the edge of the bed and sat down to read.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>About an hour later, Aaron jumped when Alexander groaned. Setting his book down, Aaron placed a comforting hand on top of Alex's, alerting the smaller man to his presence. Alex opened his eyes slowly and looked around.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Where am I?" he asked. "Is this... Is this where you live?" Aaron nodded, smiling.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, it is."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Wow! I knew you were rich, but...damn!" Aaron chuckled lightly, then his face fell into a look of concern.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How are you feeling?" Alexander's expression dropped slightly too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Uh... Fine?" Aaron shook his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"First of all, you speak in public too often to use 'uh' in a sentence." Alex rolled his eyes. "And secondly, that's clearly a lie. You were just shot for God's sake!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Well, that's not exactly a new experience for me!" Alexander said, grinning.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was a long silence, during which a tear fell slowly down Aaron's cheek. And Alexander's face dropped as he realized what he'd said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Alexander...don't." His voice was quiet, strained. "Please don't joke about that. You know I regret my actions." His voice broke. "You know I'd take them back if I could. If I hadn't... made that mistake... you wouldn't be in this situation." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know, I know. I-I'm sorry..." Aaron suddenly realized he hadn't moved his hand away from Alexander's, and quickly lifted it away to brush the tear from his now-slightly-blushing face, and Alexander smiled. Then he seemed to realize something. "But...what do you mean if you hadn't... Thomas would have shot me anyway, right? Aaron? What's going on?" Aaron had turned away, tears now streaming down his face. "Aaron?" There was measured concern and -was that fear?- in his voice now. Aaron didn't move. Alexander moved to sit up and place a hand on his shoulder, but quickly fell back, crying out in pain. Aaron spun around at the noise, tear tracks on his face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't!" He cried. "Don't move... You'll hurt yourself more." The concern and fear had filled Alexander's eyes, now mixing with pain. Pain that clouded his eyes, but was otherwise hidden. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This wasn't your fault, Aaron." Though he sounded almost unsure. Or was that the effort of not reacting to the pain?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, it is... After the election, the reason I...shot you," his voice quieted on the last two words. He still couldn't bear to speak them, knowing what he'd done. "Thomas thought I was 'on his side'," he drew air quotes around the phrase. "And that... what I had done sort of...proved my loyalty to him as his vice president. I had to listen to him. I had to be 'on his side'. I had no choice. When you and I started talking again, he assumed you were manipulating me. The narcissist he is, he thought you were going to try to get to him through me. I knew he was going to do something but...to shoot you?!" His voice rose almost hysterically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Aaron?" Alex's voice was soft, barely audible. The sound of his name acted like a stimulant, and Aaron looked up, directly into Alex's eyes. The younger man held his gaze. "Listen to me. It's <em>not</em> your fault. If anything, it's Thomas's. <em>He</em> shot me. <em>He</em> was in control of the gun. End of story. Your previous actions played no part. I forgave you didn't I?" Aaron nodded, the motion barely perceptible. "Then it's Thomas's fault for thinking you wouldn't regret your actions. Thomas's fault for not knowing your character and who you are. It's Thomas's fault for not knowing who <em>we</em> are... I know you'll always be on and by my side, as I will for you." Aaron nodded again, and Alexander smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Of course. As a lawyer, I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Finally, Aaron smiled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I thought you quit being a lawyer to be a politician!" Alexander rolled his eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I tried that, and I got shot twice." Alexander caught his mistake and smacked himself mentally. Joking about it had become second nature! He opened his mouth to apologize, then realized...Aaron was laughing with him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah. I wouldn't try to be successful again if I were you," he said, grinning.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>"Hey!" Alex yelled, laughing with Aaron.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <hr/>
  <p> </p>
  <p>The evening wore into night and eventually, Alexander fell asleep. Aaron who had been reading by candlelight noticed the erratic, pained breaths even out and become calm and steady. Standing up, he blew out the candle. He turned to leave, his hand lightly brushing Alex's as he did so.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sleep well, my Alexander."</p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
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